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Quotes by Entertainers

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61 facts:

Arnold Schwarzenegger
   said   
"Everybody Pities the Weak; Jealousy You Have to Earn"
American actor and politician
Ben Affleck
   said   
"There’s Something Really Great and Romantic About Being Poor and Sleeping on Couches"
Actor
Bill Maher
   said   
"Women Cannot Complain About Men Anymore Until They Start Getting Better Taste in Them"
American comedian, actor, writer and producer
Billy Crystal
   said   
"By the Time a Man is Wise Enough to Watch His Step He's Too Old to Go Anywhere."
Billy Crystal
   said   
"Women Need a Reason to Have Sex. Men Just Need a Place"
American Emmy award-winning actor, writer, producer, comedian and film director
Bob Hope
   said   
"I Don't Feel Old. I Don't Feel Anything Until Noon then It's Time for My Nap."
Bob Newhart
   said   
"Laughter Gives Us Distance. It Allows Us to Step Back from an Event, Deal With It and then Move On."
American Actor/Comedian
Carl Reiner
   said   
"A Lot of People Like Snow. I Find It an Unnecessary Freezing of Water"
Cary Grant
   said   
"I Improve on Misquotation"
British actor known for mostly American films
Charlie Chaplin
   said   
"All I Need to Make a Comedy is a Park, a Policeman and a Pretty Girl"
English Academy Award-winning comedic actor, director, composer and musician
Charlton Heston
   said   
"Political Correctness is Tyranny With Manners"
American actor
Chico Marx
   said   
"I Was Just Whispering in Her Mouth"
On being discovered by his wife with a chorus girl
Chief Dan George
   said   
"Sometimes the Magic Works and Sometimes It Doesn't"
Canadian native chief and actor; in Little Big Man
Dennis Miller
   said   
"I Rant, Therefore I Am"
American stand-up comedian, political/sports commentator, and television/radio personality
Dick Cavett
   said   
"There's So Much Comedy on Television. Does That Cause Comedy in the Streets?"
Mocking the TV-violence debate
Don Adams
   said   
"I Like Getting Married, I Just Don’t Like Being Married"
Comedian
George Burns
   said   
"Don’t Stay in Bed, Unless You Can Make Money in Bed"
American comedian and actor
George Burns
   said   
"If You Live to Be One Hundred, You've Got It Made. Very Few People Die Beyond That Age"
Actor, 1896-1996
George Burns
   said   
"People Ask Me What I’d Most Appreciate Getting for My Eighty-seventh Birthday. I Tell Them, a Paternity Suit"
American comedian and actor
George Burns
   said   
"The Secret of a Good Sermon is to Have a Good Beginning a Good Ending and to Have the Two As Close Together As Possible."
George Burns
   said   
"Sex at Age 90 is Like Trying to Shoot Pool With a Rope"
American comedian and actor
George Carlin
   said   
"Think of How Stupid the Average Person Is, and Realize That Half of Them Are Stupider Than That."
George Carlin
   said   
"When Someone Asks You, 'A Penny for Your Thoughts?', and You Put Your Two Cents In, What Happens to the Other Penny?"
Jimmy Durante
   said   
"Be Nice to People on Your Way up Because You Meet Them on Your Way Down"
American singer, pianist, comedian and actor
Jimmy Durante
   said   
"I Hate Music, Especially when It's Played"
Jimmy Durante
   said   
"My Wife Has a Slight Impediment in Her Speech, Every Now and then She Stops to Breathe."
John Wayne
   said   
"Courage is Being Scared to Death and Saddling up Anyway"
American film icon
Joan Rivers
   said   
"If God Wanted Us to Bend over He'd Put Diamonds on the Floor"
American comedian actress, talk show host, businesswoman
Josephine Baker
   said   
"I Like Frenchmen Very Much, Because Even when They Insult You They Do It So Nicely"
American born French expatriate entertainer and singer
Leslie Nielsen
   said   
"Doing Nothing is Very Hard to Do - You Never Know when You're Finished!"
Canadian-American Actor and Comedian
Liza Minnelli
   said   
"Reality is Something You Rise Above"
American Academy Award-winning actress and singer
Mae West
   said   
"Is That a Gun in Your Pocket or Are You Just Glad to See Me?"
Mae West
   said   
"It's Not the Men in My Life That Counts, but the Life in My Men"
Mae West
   said   
"Marriage is a Great Institution but I'm Not Ready for an Institution Yet"
Mae West
   said   
"Whenever I Have to Choose Between Two Evils, I Always Like to Try the One I Haven’t Tried Before"
Mae West
   said   
"Why Don't You Come up Sometime, and See Me?"
Martha Graham
   said   
"The Body is a Sacred Garment"
American dancer and choreographer, pioneer of modern dance
Martha Graham
   said   
"Dance is the Hidden Language of the Soul of the Body"
American dancer, teacher and choreographer
Mickey Rooney
   said   
"Women Like Me Because I Make Them Laugh. And What is an Orgasm, Except Laughter of the Loins?"
American Academy Award, Golden Globe and Emmy Award winning film actor
Mikhail Baryshnikov
   said   
"I Do Not Try to Dance Better Than Anyone Else. I Only Try to Dance Better Than Myself"
Russian American dancer, choreographer and actor
Mikhail Baryshnikov
   said   
"No Dancer Can Watch Fred Astaire and Not Know That We All Should Have Been in Another Business"
Russian American dancer, choreographer and actor
Milton Berle
   said   
"Your Marriage is in Trouble if Your Wife Says, 'You're Only Interested in One Thing,' and You Can't Remember What It Is"
Orson Welles
   said   
"There Are Only Two Emotions in a Plane: Boredom and Terror"
American director, writer, actor and producer for film, stage, radio and television
Phyllis Diller
   said   
"Maybe It's True That Life Begins at Fifty but Everything else Starts to Wear out Fall out or Spread Out."
Robert De Niro
   said   
"According to a New Survey, Women Say They Feel More Comfortable Undressing in Front of Men Than They Do Undressing in Front of Other Women. They Say That Women Are Too Judgmental, Where, of Course, Men Are Just Grateful"
American Academy Award and Golden Globe film actor, director and producer
Robin Williams
   said   
"Ah, Yes, Divorce, from the Latin Word Meaning to Rip out a Man’s Genitals Through His Wallet"
American TV, stage and film actor and comedian, won an Academy Award, six Golden Globes, two Screen Actors Guild Awards and a Grammy
Rodney Dangerfield
   said   
"My Luck is So Bad That if I Bought a Cemetery, People Would Stop Dying."
Roseanne
   said   
"Women Complain About Premenstrual Syndrome, but I Think of It As the Only Time of the Month That I Can Be Myself"
American comedian, actress
Sharon Stone
   said   
"Women Might Be Able to Fake Orgasms. But Men Can Fake a Whole Relationship"
American actress
Sophie Tucker
   said   
"From Birth to 18 a Girl Needs Good Parents. From 18 to 35, She Needs Good Looks. From 35 to 55, Good Personality. From 55 On, She Needs Good Cash"
Russian-American singer and comedian
Sophia Loren
   said   
"After All These Years, I Am Still Involved in the Process of Self-discovery. It's Better to Explore Life and Make Mistakes Than to Play It Safe. Mistakes Are Part of the Dues One Pays for a Full Life"
Italian actress
Sophia Loren
   said   
"Sex Appeal is Fifty Percent What You've Got and Fifty Percent What People Think You've Got"
Italian actress
Sophia Loren
   said   
"The Two Big Advantages I Had at Birth Were to Have Been Born Wise and to Have Been Born in Poverty"
Italian actress
Spike Milligan
   said   
"Money Can't Buy You Happiness but It Does Bring You a More Pleasant Form of Misery."
Spike Milligan
   said   
"Money Couldn't Buy You Friends, but You Get a Better Class of Enemy"
British-Irish comedian, writer, musician poet and playwright
Stella Adler
   said   
"Life Beats Down and Crushes the Soul and Art Reminds You That You Have One"
American actress, and for decades was regarded as America’s foremost acting teacher
Tallulah Bankhead
   said   
"Cocaine Isn't Habit-forming. I Should Know, I've Been Using It for Years."
W. C. Fields
   said   
"I Never Drink Water Because of the Disgusting Things That Fish Do in It."
Will Rogers
   said   
"Live in Such a Way That You Would Not Be Ashamed to Sell Your Parrot to the Town Gossip."
Will Rogers
   said   
"This Country Has Come to Feel the Same when Congress is in Session As when the Baby Gets Hold of a Hammer"
Cherokee-American cowboy, comedian, humorist, social commentator, and actor
Zsa Zsa Gabor
   said   
"I Have Never Hated a Man Enough to Give His Diamonds Back."


Facts contributed by:


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