Mrs Podgorny, knitting: "Angus, how are y'going to get 48,000,000 kilts into the van?" Angus: "I'll have t'do it in two goes." Mrs Podgorny: "D'you not ken that the Galaxy of Andromeda is two million, two hundred thousand light years away?" Angus: "Is that so?" Mrs Podgorny: "Aye ... and you've never been further than Berwick-on-Tweed..."
Opening shot: ...a Scotsman lying on his back with his knees drawn up in the middle of a field. Two Russian bomb experts are crawling towards him cautiously. SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'UNEXPLODED SCOTSMAN DISPOSAL SQUAD' They go to work on him. Tense close ups. They sweat. Finally they remove his head. One of them runs hurriedly and places it in a bucket labelled 'Vodka '. SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'WHISKY' The sound of drunken gurglings comes from the bucket.
A mummified body of a creature that was half mammal and half fish. The original exhibit was popularized by circus great P.T. Barnum. It came into his possession via his counterpart Moses Kimball. In reality, it was made using either papier-mâché and materials from exotic fish, or the tail of a fish and a torso of a baby orangutan, stitched together with the head of a monkey.
Children's and Household Tales, 1812
He's in a state of Itsubishi Kyoko McSayonara ... It's the fifth state that a Scotsman can achieve, sir. He's got to finish himself off by lunchtime or he thinks he's let down the Emperor, sir.
Managed by caretaker boss Paul Hart. Current holders of English FA Cup after beating Cardiff City 1-0 at Wembley Stadium on 17 May 2008.
Commentator: "Warwickshire had dismissed the Kalahari Batsmen for 140, and then it was their turn to face this extraordinary Kalahari attack. Pratt was the first to go, but Pratt and Pratt put on a second wicket stand of nought, which was broken by Odinga in his most hostile mood..." (cut to a bowler thundering towards the wicket.....as he reaches the crease he produces a spear and raises it to shoulder height and hurls it)
Director: Castleton Knight. Also starred Pauline Johnson, Moore Marriott & Ray Milland. Plot: A young fireman on the famous Flying Scotsman locomotive falls in love with a beautiful young woman...
Cardiff City 0-1 Portsmouth
Ends the Russo-Japanese War.
Inimitable contriver, endower of Earth 1914-1917
Edinburgh, Scotland. Scottish national daily newspaper
Born 1962, considered by many to be the best match racer in the world, he has won the America's Cup 3 times and various sailing world championships
There are the dozens of names used for the German Father Christmas or Santa Claus. The four main names are Kristkindl, Nickel, Klaus and Niglo. Then there are many more local or regional names: Aschenmann, Bartl, Boozenickel, Hans Trapp, Klaubauf, Krampus, Pelznickel, Ruhklas, Ruprecht, and Schmutzli.
Portsmouth 4 Wolverhampton Wanderers 1
Ends Queen Anne's War hostilities between the Abenakis and the Province of Massachusetts Bay.
1948-2001, had won the Whitbread Round the World Race in 1989 and the Jules Verne Trophy in 1994, he was murdered by pirates in 2001 during an environmental exploration trip in South America
New Zealander. Led his country to 2 America's Cup victories in 1995 and 2000. Previously won the Whitbread Round the World Race in 1989, and the Jules Verne Trophy in 1994 by setting the fastest time around the world of 74 days 22 hours 17 minutes 22 seconds on catamaran Enza.
Portsmouth Hampshire, England. Aquaria